If Only

A long while back, I made a pact with myself that I’d never, ever regret anything I do. (Cross my heart and hope to have a near-death experience and subsequently write about it.)

I succeeded, up to a point. It’s a waste of time anyway and the whole balls-to-you-this-is-how-I-am attitude rather suits me.

But the bitch of it all is I’m not totally without regret. I look back and think about all the things I didn’t do and kick myself mentally, which hurts a lot more than you’d imagine by the way.

Top 10 things I regret not doing:

1. Going out to play more often as a kid. (Actually, make that “making life a living hell for the kids who bullied me on the playground”.)

2. Giving Psycho Political Bitch from high school a large piece of my mind, and an even larger piece of me.

3. Finishing One Hundred Years of Solitude, despite the fact that it seemed like a hundred years of solitude just reading three quarters of the damn book.

4. Slapping a certain someone in public for being horrible to me. You know who you are and you know you deserved it too.

5. Just saying no.

6. Buying the extra-amazing black miniskirt on sale out of fear that Father Dear would find out.

7.Getting used to walking in heels as a kid.

8. Letting the high road take a hike, while dragging slimy people through their own filth, till they cowered in meek submission.

9. Breaking rules, for cryin’ out loud. I should have my sainthood coming in any day now.

10.“Things that are bad for you”, “Things that you shouldn’t do” and “Things that are stupid, but great fun all the same”.

That’s it for now, I guess. What’s your list like?

3 thoughts on “If Only

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