The Naïve Girl’s Guide to Men

I’ve recently come across many women who’ve made it very difficult for me to defend the intelligence of my own sex. A lot of these women aren’t exactly dumb – just naïve. The kind who live in a dream world filled with fluffy pink clouds, butterflies, bluebirds and other sickeningly cute Disney creatures. They also believe in the basic goodness of humankind, the purity of romantic love and the righteousness of men.

I don’t particularly blame them and I can’t really disillusion them about the first two. But men – I can tell them and you a few truths about men. Consider this your reality-check, girls.

All men check out all women. Hands-down, no arguments, basic principle of life. Even ugly men. Even the watchman. Even your dad’s friend. Even your friendly neighbourhood grocer. ALL men. It’s got nothing to do with age, socioeconomic status or political views. It’s not personal. It’s just… men.
All men want sex. If you’re seeing someone who tells you he’s only interested in your personality, he’s a bit fat liar, babe. Sure, he may like you for your brains, your charm or the way you wrinkle your nose while thinking, but the baseline is he wants sex from you at some point. That’s why he’s dating you and it’s really not rocket science.
All men think about sex lots. This has nothing to do with whether they’re single, attached, married or divorced. And this is equally true of men shopping for oatmeal in a supermarket and of men stranded on a deserted island with just a coconut for company. The supermarket guys will be thinking of what it would be like to do it in the aisles. The island guys will be wondering if their situation justifies doing a coconut.

All men think of women in terms of ‘gettable’ and ‘not gettable’. On some level. At least in the beginning. And in locker room gossip. If they’re smart, they label ‘not gettable’ women as ‘not gettable’ pretty quickly. But there are always those optimistic many for whom the world is filled with ‘gettable’ women, who they’ve inexplicably not got.
All men think a “No, thanks” is secretly a “Yes”.
Say a guy asks you out. You’re not really interested. You, being polite, make up an elaborate excuse involving friends and a trip to the zoo, hoping he’ll get the hint. He won’t. Not unless you tell him a clear-cut, no-nonsense ‘No’. No, sorry. No, perhaps some other time. Just no. And then, keep your fingers crossed.

There, I’ve done my good deed for the day. Oh, and guys, I dare you to say it isn’t so.

13 thoughts on “The Naïve Girl’s Guide to Men

  1. hahah .. good one:) but what I’d really like to read is “A Woman exaplined — basics for men” and wait here is the real challenge “you have a 1 page limit” or maybe a blog worth of writing. 🙂 No one can possibly argue with the facts you have down here … but then the only reason a Man thinks a “No, Thanks” is secret Yes is coz he really doesn’t know whats the truth … even the most naive girl has the upper hand while deciding if the Man will get what he always wants 🙂 good job with the pictures though 🙂


  2. Come on, now.. it isn’t so. I mean checking out is fine but <>all<> women is pushing it a little! 😛By the way, the weird-ass statement totally cracked me up!


  3. here 1. all men check out women : looking yes , checking out no , some men do but far away from a generalization , we look up at clouds too. and since women are such mysterious ethereal beings to us , we have to look. 2. All men want sex : ask a man , a little past the bimbo stage (read post 18) most men look for women with substance , women they can have conversations with , if it was only sex we needed , type a bimbo virus would have taken over the world by now. 3. All men think about sex , a lots : sure we do , a little more or a little less than dictated by the creator , but occasionally when step out of our sexual rage , we do write poetry , build monuments , and indulge in sports and war 4.gettable/non gettable : you are (perhaps )talking about jocks we have all seen in teen movies , most men on this continent thank their many gods if they “get” one woman. come to think of it locker room itself is such and alien concept to us. 5. All men think no /yes : maybe , but then all women indulge. maybe but the generalizing but isn’t that the theme.there… i have done my best to defend my creed , now i will roll over and die , there is only so much twisting of truth a man can take. Lug


  4. funny how women think they understand men, and still manage to screw up relationships. I mean we men never claim to understand women, so i guess the onus on making things work should fall on the oh-so-intelligent women. any counters??– B


  5. yes it is true many times untill we are not grown up.but sex is only basics after having sex u r gone u r dissolved.then we all stink we dont explore other aspects of personality.we dont want to go beyond it.half of human race is stagnating there .they dont want to grow.they become animals.why with us.i ll tell u a secret i fell it.u r suppose 13-14 years old boy and i know u (girls or women) dont have the male part.and when u see this male part erect whole day night n for days(only because of hormonal changes).and then u r gone.and nobody taught us how to deal with that.and we r still that person untill we found to transform that creative is so powerfull it creates life on planet solely.morever a girl or women ends up that whatever be in the boy i ll change him now or after marraige i ll dominate him(oh its politics its ugly) and man thinking the same.finally they end up self or women is not a thing to know or comprehand in all aspects but only of experience(man or women are worth only experiencing plz remember it).and i dont know if women really have same problem (may be for us but its in us this is way we are and lots have not grown up not in india atleast the most sex repressing or suppressing country that why we have perversions gays or lesbos and this is going to kill our country soon because of old dogmas lord save the world) u may not feel this even if ur His mother u ll do nothing except offending him u have to just accept us this a little 10% part of a grown up mens personality.morever this personality will also stagnate because it is of outside not any thing of inside. the is one of the reason young actresses or women end up marrying older men (subconsiously they know) because they r mature .they explore the personality beyond sex that much is enough for today.i dont exactly know where i have ended.but this is it.and i dare to write my name jack720 on twitter .i ll wait for ur explanation here.same place.thanks


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