Brother and I are in the car, going for a Diwali lunch with Dad and Commander Uncle.
Me: (all innocent) The weather’s so dry suddenly. Dude, you want some lip balm?
Brother: (taking some from the little Bodyshop container I’m holding in front of him) Ok.
Brother: Tastes like orange.
Me: It’s Satsuma Shimmer.
Brother: Then why does it taste like orange?
Me: I don’t know. It’s called Satsuma Shimmer.
Brother: Wait. What the… what is all this glittery shit?
Me: It’s not glitter.
Brother: My finger is all shiny!
Me: It’s shimmer. Satsuma Shimmer.
Brother: I DON’T CARE! Aaaaa! It’s on my face? It’s on my face!
Me: Bahahahahahahahahahaha. I can’t believe you fell for this!
Brother: (furiously rubbing his mouth) AAAAAA! Is it off?
Me: Nope. Bahahahahahahahha.
Brother: Ok, it’s off now, right? RIGHT?
Me: You look like a Maybelline ad. Maybe he’s born with it…
Brother: Or maybe his sister is a BITCH!
Happy Diwali, all.